So this is a post I've been looking forward to writing for ages.
Hades is my favorite Greek god and unfortunately is often on the receiving end of unnecessary hate.
Persephone was his wife that he did admittedly kidnap, but we'll get to that in a sec.
Let's start off with the introduction of a certain goddess by the name of
Aphrodite...
She's one of my least favorite goddesses in general, but moving on...
Aphrodite is the Greek goddess of love and beauty and pettiness.
Okay, not the last one, but could have fooled me...
So, one day, she was chillin' with her son, Eros.
Most know him by his Roman name which is Cupid.
Anyways, she saw Hades minding his own business
and was like
"Eros! Listen to me whine about how no one pays attention to us anymore and
how Hades thinks he's above love!"
Her son, Eros, internally was like "Great Zeus, woman! Chill!"
So because she was mad about this, she came up with a devious plan.
"I know! Get your most powerful arrow so he'll be overcome by lust and shoot him with it and let's not give a damn about whoever his victim is though try to make it Persephone."
Now Eros isn't a god I hate since he's pretty chill.
However, he agreed... probably to shut her up.
So that happens and ignorant Hades is going about the world doing his job.
When he passes by Eros, he's shot right in the heart with the arrow.
It takes effect immediately and he becomes pretty much high off of experiencing the world for a sec.
Then he sees Persephone.
A voice inside is like
"Dude, you can't live without her..."
"Yeah but what do I do?"
...
"Let's kidnap her"
He does.
Then a nymph tries to warn him and get his desire induced brain to see reason.
He melts her, but she is still somehow alive.
So let's head over to Demeter for a minute.
Days have passed and she's finally like
"Hey... where's my kid? Maybe I should go look for her..."
So she begins her search and a guy is turned into a lizard at one point.
It's fine though since he was being rude.
Anyway she continues until she reaches Sicily and where the melted nymph was.
The nymph can't speak, but still shows her what happened.
Demeter is pissed which is understandable.
She destroys Sicily since that's where Hades entered Hell which is less understandable.
A different nymph basically tells her to chill off of Sicily since it wasn't their fault.
So Demeter goes to Olympus to find her brother, Zeus.
"Zeus, our brother, Hades, stole our daughter, Persephone"
"It's chill. He's just in love with her. He'll be a great son in law. He's more stable than the rest of us"
"Zeus, no..."
"Fine... Let's just hope she hasn't eaten anything while down there..."
As they were talking, Persephone was wandering about the underworld.
She came to a garden, saw a pomegranate and ate some of the seeds.
After, she was called to meet with Hades, Demeter, and Zeus.
Zeus was like
"Persephone, great to see you. You haven't eaten anything, right?"
"...No"
"Liar!"
The lizard boy from earlier was killed shortly after becoming a lizard and saw her eat the seeds.
"Welp, that's settled... Demeter gets you half the year and Hades the other half"
"But, Zeus, how will I know he's treating her right???"
"Here's a constellation named Virgo. It's her. Chill."
"Doesn't Virgo mean virgin?"
"Not for long..."
And that is how Hades and Persephone ended up happily married...
There is a second version of this story that I may tell another time.
Love you all and adios!
*not my images
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