So... let's talk death.Yes, it's a depressing subject, but at times, very ironic. As someone who loves irony and has an incredibly dark sense of humor, here are a few weird deaths that caught my eye.
455 BC: Aeschylus
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| Look at that bald head... |
Aeschylus was an Athenian author of tragedies. He was actually killed by an eagle dropping a tortoise on his head. Why did the eagle do this? It was because it mistook his bald head as a rock that'd be able to crack the tortoise's shell. The major irony here is that he was outside to escape the prophecy that said he'd die due to a falling object.
258: Saint Lawrence
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| "Make sure you get by good side..." |
Deacon Saint Lawrence was roasted alive on top of a giant grill. Apparently, while being grilled, he was joking with his captors, saying things such as, "Turn me over- I'm done on this side" and "It's cooked enough now" right before he died. Irony: he is now the patron saint of cooks, chefs, and comedians.
1016: Edmund Ironside
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| He looks so done with his own death |
Edmund Ironside was stabbed while on the toilet. As gross as it was, the assassin snuck up on him by hiding underneath. What a complete lack of privacy!
1327: Edward II of England
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| Obviously, I'm not gonna show this (only cause I couldn't find anything) |
After being betrayed and imprisoned by his wife and her lover, he was rumored to have been murdered by having a horn pushed into his anus and then having a red hot iron inserted so as to burn his internal organs without a mark on the body. However, there is a fair chance this was all propaganda.
1567: Hans Steininger
Hans was killed as he broke his neck when he tripped over his own beard. The beard was 4.5 feet long and was usually kept rolled up in a pouch... except for then, obviously.
1871: Clement Vallandigham
There are quite a few of these I actually heard of beforehand, and this is one of them. Clement was a lawyer that, whilst defending a man accused of murder, accidentally shot himself. Irony: He shot himself proving the victim could have easily shot themselves. They won the case.
1919: 21 dead, 150 injured
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| This book is rather deceptively positive... |
Twenty one people were killed in 1919 when a large storage tank burst and a wave of molasses flooded Boston's North End. I vividly remember a picture book on this that I read either on my own or for class.
1999: Jon Desborough
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I forgot this was so recent and ended up accidentally seeing actual photos of it;
NOT SUGGESTED |
Okay, not going to lie, I spent most of my high school miffed at this guy. I was in shot put and really wanted to try javelin as well, but it had been banned due to this man. He was a PE teacher who fell onto the blunt end of a javelin. It ended up passing through his eye socket and into his brain.
2001: Bernd Brandes
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| The aspiring cannibal is on the left |
This man was an engineer. I'd just like to start with that since that would mean he's a least a bit smart... Anyway this engineer from Berlin decided to respond to an advert from Armin Meiwes. The advert was for someone to willingly be slaughtered so they could be butchered and eaten by the aspiring cannibal. Irony: In prison, Meiwes became a vegetarian.
2001: Peter Robinson
This man managed to slip on ice and then drowned in his cat's water bowl... That's it...
2013: Elisa Lam
I recognized this one from Buzzfeed Unsolved and found it extremely interesting. She went missing for several weeks before being found dead in a water tank on the roof of a hotel. She was found only after the guests began to complain that the water tasted funny.
2013: unnamed Belarusian fisherman
This man has made me lose some of the last remaining faith in humanity. He bled to death after being bitten by a beaver which he tried to grab in order to have a picture taken with it.
So now you're either amused or really depressed.
Regardless, love you all and adios!
*not my images
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